10 December 2011

Do Not Press Send

By now, you've likely read the email "Mike", the New York investment banker, sent to poor "Lauren", a classical-music-loving single lady in the jungle of Manhattan. If not, get a glass of something good and settle in to read the 1,600+ word, cringe-inducing missive poor Mike sent. Really. We'll wait.

Rather incredible, no?

I'm sure we've all received a similar communication. A pissy text, sad-sack voicemail, or an electronic diatribe about what you're missing out and why. More often than not, we don't reply...because, clearly, we didn't ever want to see or speak to the gent ever again, which is why we didn't respond in the first place. Or we send back a simple response, which is typically a more polite version of "Wow."

The odd thing is, when women don't respond -- don't return that call, that email or text -- it's our seemingly kind way of saying, "Thanks, but I'm just not interested." BUT, when men don't call, reply or text back, they clearly have fallen off the planet, are being held hostage in some glamorous foreign country (in a tuxedo, no less),  lost his phone, is in a coma in a hospital brewing a nasty case of amnesia, or is scared of feeling something so real.

Kind of see where I'm going here? For those who still think that there's a rather dramatic/romantic reason he didn't call, it's just his seemingly kind way of saying, "Thanks, but I'm just not interested." Sure, that stings, especially if you felt there was chemistry and really thought his last name sounded good going after yours. It's a great, big, juicy bummer to think there's potential and find out there's not. Just don't make it worse by pressing SEND. Because you certainly don't want your 1,600+ word, cringe-inducing missive hitting the internet and going viral.


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